I Seeee...

I have been looking forward to my 18th birthday since the day after my 17th birthday. I had everything planned out for what I was going to do, and now I really do not think it will end up being a good day at all. It’ll probably end up with a lot of aruging and bitching and it’ll just ruin my entire day. Turning 18 is a huge thing and I really do not want this birthday to be shitty. I have been looking forward to it for so long. But somehow, I have a feeling Saturday will suck :/

I miss you moreso than I did immediately after it happened back in August. I believe that part of the reason I miss you more now is because you are not here to see me go through one of the most important years of my life. My senior year. The year I graduate. I wish you had the chance to see my senior pictures so you could have told me how much you loved each one even if it were the ugliest picture you’d ever seen. I wish I could call you like I used to and tell you some of the lame and boring things that I’ve been up to lately. You wouldn’t have thought that they were boring or lame though, you would be just as excited as me. When I get my license, one of the first long drives that I take will be to go and visit you. And when I turn 18, whatever tattoo I decide to get will tie to you in some way, shape, or form. I promise.

You do so many things for me, its crazy. However, there’s one thing I wish you could do, but I know you can’t. And believe me, if it was possible, I’m sure you’d jump through a million hoops to make it happen…but I really just wish I could have the one important person I lost and the other important thing I lost in the past 6 months back. It’s ridiculous how much I think about how badly they need to be here right now. So, if you could figure out a way to bring them back in between driving me to school and bringing me dinner at work, that’d be goood Hahah. This blog was so queer, but I felt like typing it out somewhere besides on Facebook or Twitter.